A Guest Post from Amanda Salzhauer & Dr. Dale Atkins
Do you ever remember hearing a friend or relative complain that their kids are too kind?
No, neither do we.
Kindness is one of those qualities that we can never have enough of.
There are so many reasons that kindness is important. At its essence, kindness allows us to develop awareness of and sensitivity to others. Having concern for others and being able to show that concern through our thoughts and actions helps us feel connected to the people and world around us.
When we use the word kindness, we are referring to several, specific behaviors. Let’s think of them as the “kindness-ecities”:
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Do you ever feel like the only words that come out of your mouth are direct orders?
“Empty the trash, be nice to your sister, quit jumping on the couch!!!”
A big part of preventing bad behavior, however, is to provide encouraging words to reinforce good behavior when you see it.
And a quick “good job” doesn’t cut it—in fact, phrases like “good boy,” “you’re so smart!” and “you’re the best on your team!” are not considered all that encouraging. Instead of focusing on positive internal qualities, they put the emphasis on outward praise, which does little to promote good behavior in the future.
True encouraging words focus on the deed, not the doer.
It motivates a child from the inside to demonstrate similar positive behavior in the future, and to value things like hard work, improvement, teamwork and perseverance.
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Did you know the average child hears 432 negative comments or words per day versus 32 positive ones? (Source: K. Kvols, Redirecting Children’s Behavior)
If there were a hidden camera in your house, how many times per day would you catch yourself saying “No” or “Don’t” to your kids?
NO or DON’T commands create several problems, especially for young kids… Read More →