parenting

Has your dining room table turned into a battlefield?

Instead of reminiscing about the day, do you spend mealtime engaged in a hostage negotiation over vegetables?

To add insult to injury, is the culinary masterpiece you slaved over treated with disdain as your child flings it into the dog’s mouth or reminds you again how disgusting broccoli is?

Before you know it, you’ve thrown your hands up in surrender or dropped your head to the table in utter defeat, wondering how steamed carrots could cause such a guttural reaction.

I hear you. As a busy working mom with two sons who had “discriminating tastes” when they were younger, I know all about “picky” problems and mealtime meltdowns. By implementing a few strategies, I was able to squelch the mealtime battles once and for all. (And good news, my sons are now young adults and they actually eat vegetables – there is hope for you too!)

Here are 8 steps you can take to end the war with picky eaters in your house:

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Has the winter weather got you down? For parents with little ones, winter days can feel like an eternity.

Cold temperatures, snow days, weather hazards, the dreaded cold and flu season, and the onset of cabin fever can lead to a frustrating loop of, “I’m bored” and “What are we going to do NOW?”

Before you curse the cold and throw your hands in the air in a helpless act of surrender, let me assure you there is hope! It IS possible to keep your kids healthy and happy this winter season without losing all your marbles.

Here are seven ways to keep winter blues at bay:

1. Turn Off Technology

“WHAT?” you’re probably thinking, “The TV and tablets are the only things keeping me sane!”

It seems counterintuitive–right? Technology is an easy go-to for winter storm relief, but a little Minecraft goes a long way. A steady stream of screen time can do more harm than good.

One study found that adolescents who had more screen time were at an increased risk to show these symptoms:

• Increased impulsivity
• Hyperactivity-impulsivity, such as having trouble controlling their body

While technology may keep your children occupied for a moment or two, the long-term effects are brutal. In the same way eating one cookie isn’t going to cause a health problem, a diet of cookies won’t bode well for your waistline or heart health.

While you may be tempted to relax on your technology limits when the cold keeps you in, hold fast, my friend. Keep your technology limits in place and turn to alternatives that engage kids’ minds and bodies. The long-term payoff will be worth it!

2. Think Outside the Living Room

Don’t get stuck in a rut. Head to your local YMCA, jump for an hour at the indoor trampoline arena, visit the art and science museum, or hit up a gym with a kid zone.

Even if bad weather has you stranded at home, you can still go outside your living room. Is there a tubing hill nearby that’s covered in snow? 

Sure, it may be daunting to bundle everyone up and get them out the door, but the effort will pay off. The short-term frustration of managing the hats, gloves, and jackets will diminish as your kids burn energy on a giant outdoor playground or at another fun activity.

3. Get Creative With Your Kids

Once a week, sit down with your kids and brainstorm 10 family fun time ideas for the week. Then, see how many you can check off! Here are a few ideas:

• Build a blanket fort
• Go indoor “camping”–tent and all
• Bake cakes in cups
• Try new recipes
• Play with clay
• Break out rolls of craft paper with crayons and markers
• Make paper snowflakes
• Set up an indoor obstacle course
• Play hide and seek
• Invest in science experiments
• Read books together
• Write stories together
• Explore new music or instruments
• Have a dance party
• Have an indoor picnic
• Play games
• Create new games
• Go “swimming” in the tub
• Have a movie marathon
• Organize playdates

There are hundreds of ways to keep kids engaged and entertained, and (fortunately for us) an entire internet filled with ideas.

4. Let the Light In

Some of what invites a downward turn in emotion is simply the lack of light in the wintertime. The leafless trees, the gray skies, the brown grass, the short days–when combined, winter can feel drab and dreary.

Without that big dose of Vitamin D from the sun every day, it’s easier to feel blue. To combat those feelings, open the curtains, turn on the lights, and make things as bright as you can in your living and play spaces. Even if it’s not a bright, sunny 80-degree day, invite the light in–artificial or natural–and you’ll notice a difference in your children’s moods and behaviors.  

5. Remember Routines 

With cold weather zapping everyone’s energy and snow days throwing a monkey wrench into outdoor plans, it’s easy to get lazy with regular routines. Combat schedule sluggishness by sticking to your set routines each day–even when bad weather cancels school or quells activities.

When the expectation exists that household jobs and homework continue to be done daily, they’ll be no need for questioning or quarreling later. When parents are consistent with routines and structure, kids feel more secure–giving them fewer reasons to act out.

6. Look for Silver Linings  

I get it. Your plans have changed, too. Maybe you were looking forward to a coffee date with a friend or had dreams of grocery shopping by yourself. But the storm came in, and the kids are home from school.

While it’s easy to focus on the activities you’ll miss out on, let me encourage you to turn your gaze to the silver linings of the situation. Your attitude and response to situations like this have an extreme impact on your children’s responses–they are feeding off your cues.

Make it a practice to help your kids be mindful and in the present–even when things don’t go their way. Steer the narrative away from the bad weather to the fun activities of the day, the blessing of time together, and the opportunity to get creative. Helping kids shift their mindsets now will not only get YOU through the gray days of winter, but will help them see the silver linings in the major and minor upsets of life.

One way I encourage parents to do this is by shifting their language from saying “I have to” to “I get to.” Instead of “I have to stay home with the kids on this snow day,” you can say “I get to hang out with my kids today!”

This slight change in language gives children a greater sense of belonging because they aren’t seen as a burden, but as a gift. And we know that when a child’s need for belonging is met, they are less likely to act out.

7. Get Outside–Really!

While you consider all the ways you can promote healthy and happy children while avoiding bad weather, I will ask you to consider another idea. All over the world, Forest Schools are popping up that adhere to the saying “There is no bad weather, only bad clothes.”

This idea is simple–when kids are properly dressed, they can safely and joyfully explore the world outside. These schools hold classes outside all year round and simply ask that kids come dressed appropriately for the weather.

While I know every parent should win a Nobel Peace Prize for getting a 2-year-old dressed to go out in the snow, I’d encourage you, whenever possible, to still spend some time outside. Even when it’s cold or rainy, kids still find enjoyment splashing in puddles and making snow angels. Dig deep to find your silver lining, my friend, and let them explore outside when you can!

Final Thoughts

Whatever the season, there are always ways to promote healthy, happy, positive practices that make the weather matter less and the time together matter more. It’s often in those creative, out-of-the-norm moments when some of the best memories are made. Enjoy them.

If you feel like you’ve tried similar strategies to tackle your winter blues, and you’re still feeling at the end of your rope, I’d love for you to join me for a FREE parenting class.

In one hour, I’ll teach you how to get your kids to listen without nagging, reminding or yelling. Winter blues or not, your kids deserve a calm and confident parent–and I’d love to help you get there.

Stay warm and safe, and as always – happy parenting!

Your teen refused to do his homework for the 6th day in a row, your 4th grader doesn’t listen when you ask him to turn off the tv, and your 3-year-old wages World War III at the dinner table every night.

You’ve gone to sleep exhausted and overwhelmed for as long as you can remember. Your struggles are so different with each child you don’t even know where to start. Before you close your eyes for the night, you key out the most desperate Google search your fingers can muster: “How to Parent”

These 3 words are both a cry for help and an admission that something has to change. Sure, you’ve been a parent for over 12 years, but every day’s new challenges make you feel like it’s your first day on the job.

And you know what, my friend? You are not alone. Parents all over the world find themselves deep in the parenting trenches searching for help on a daily basis. While we have immeasurable love for our children and long so deeply to see them grow into compassionate and capable adults, the truth is we aren’t naturally equipped to handle sibling rivalry or diffuse a tantrum. In fact, our gut responses can often make the behaviors worse.
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Have you had enough of the temper tantrums? Or the backtalk? Or the helplessness?

Do you feel like you’re repeating yourself every second? But your kids are still glued to the tv and refuse to budge?

You know things have to change and you can’t continue on like this. But what’s your next step?

You’ve probably considered the pros and cons of in-person courses and online parenting classes.

You’ve researched different parent education options and have come to the conclusion that an online parenting class is the best choice for your family.

But, how do you pick the right one? Your Facebook newsfeed is filled with offers and every Google search generates different course options all touting excellent results.

I’ve been a parenting coach for over 15 years, and I know there is a wide spectrum of course offerings. Before you hand over your credit card information, let’s break down some key differences in online parenting classes, shall we?

In general, there are 3 types of online parenting courses you’ll find:

1. Court-ordered courses
2. Compartmentalized courses
3. Comprehensive courses.

To make the most informed purchasing decision, it’s critical you understand the differences between each type of course. Read More →