Toxic Masculinity: 10 Parenting Tips to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids

Have you ever worried that your child is getting the wrong messages about what it means to “be a man”?

You’re not overthinking it. From the sidelines of youth sports to viral YouTube shorts, kids are surrounded by messages about toughness, dominance, and staying silent about emotions.

And more and more parents are starting to talk about it—especially after the release of Netflix’s Adolescence, a gripping series that shines a spotlight on toxic masculinity and the online influences shaping our sons.

These messages don’t just show up in the teen years—they start much earlier. And they’re not just hurting boys. Girls are often taught to tolerate disrespect or shrink themselves to make others comfortable.

The good news? Even with so many forces working against our kids, your influence at home still makes the most difference.

📹 Want more context? Read our related post: Netflix’s Adolescence: What Parents Need to Know About Toxic Masculinity, Incel Culture, and Raising Boys in a Digital World

Jump to a Section:

What Is Toxic Masculinity?

Where Toxic Masculinity Comes From—and Why It’s Getting Worse

10 Parenting Tips to Break the Cycle

Final Thoughts: How Parents Can Break the Cycle of Toxic Masculinity

What Is Toxic Masculinity?

Toxic masculinity refers to harmful cultural messages that tell boys and men to:

Hide emotions
Always be tough
Use dominance to gain respect
Avoid anything seen as “feminine”

These messages can lead to emotional suppression, disrespect in relationships, and even violent or risky behavior.

But toxic masculinity also hurts girls, who may learn to tolerate disrespect, silence their own needs, or confuse control with love.

That’s why raising emotionally healthy boys and girls is key to breaking the cycle.

Where Toxic Masculinity Comes From—and Why It’s Getting Worse

Toxic masculinity isn’t new. It’s rooted in long-standing cultural beliefs about what it means to “be a man”—messages that prize dominance, control, and emotional silence.

But today, those messages are reaching kids earlier and louder than ever, thanks to:

Social media algorithms that push extreme content
Online influencers who glorify harmful behaviors
Video games, movies, and music that reward aggression and emotional shutdown
A lack of guidance on how to help kids who bully and channel their emotions in healthy ways
Peer pressure to act tough or mock others

What’s changed isn’t just the message—it’s the speed and reach with which it is making its way out into the world. And many boys (and girls) are absorbing these ideas before they’re even old enough to understand what they mean.

🗣️ “Boys learn early that they’re expected to hide their feelings—especially anything that looks like weakness,” says psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour. “But this emotional suppression doesn’t lead to strength—it leads to isolation.”

That’s why your voice as a parent matters more than ever. You can’t control every message your kids hear — but you can shape how they think, feel, and respond.

10 Parenting Tips to Break the Cycle of Toxic Masculinity

1. Normalize All Emotions—Not Just Anger

Studies suggest there are 27 categories of human emotions. But when it comes to our kids, we often focus on just a few. And of those, anger almost always rises to the top.

Boys often learn that sadness means weakness, but anger means power. The truth is, anger is usually just the emotion we see on the outside. Underneath, there may be fear, hurt, or shame. That’s why it’s so important to help kids recognize and name all their feelings.

That’s why it’s so important to help kids recognize and name all their feelings. The Anger Iceberg from the Gottman Institute is a helpful visual that shows how anger can hide more vulnerable emotions—and why teaching emotional awareness helps kids handle tough moments in healthier ways.

🖌️ Try saying:

“It’s okay to feel nervous or sad. That just means something matters to you.”
“You can tell me how you’re feeling—no feeling is wrong.”
“It’s okay to cry. It just means your heart is working.”

When we name emotions, we give our kids permission to feel—and tools to cope.

2. Let Them See You Express Feelings

Kids learn emotional strength by watching us. If we hide our emotions, they’ll do the same.

🖌️ Try this:

“I felt really overwhelmed today, so I took a walk to calm down.”

“I’m feeling frustrated. I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”

Similarly, if we demonstrate proper techniques for expressing our feelings in healthy, age-appropriate ways, they will follow suit. That’s not weakness—it’s emotional regulation, and it’s a powerful model — and tools like a feelings wheel can help build emotional intelligence in both you and your child.

3. Challenge Harmful Stereotypes Out Loud

From video games to locker rooms, harmful stereotypes are present in nearly every area of your child’s life. Address their potentially negative influence by openly speaking the truth to your kids.

🖌️ You can say:

Crying isn’t just for girls. It’s for humans.”
“Kindness and strength go hand in hand.”
“You can be both tough and gentle.”
“Being strong doesn’t mean staying silent. Real courage is asking for help.”

4. Praise Real Bravery

Bravery isn’t just about physical strength. It’s also:

Apologizing when it’s hard
Speaking up for others
Being honest about feeling

🖌️ Try this:

“That was brave, telling your friend the truth—even though it was hard.”
“You stood up for someone today. That takes real courage.”

Free Download: 27 Ways to Encourage Your Child

These research-backed phrases help your child build confidence, motivation, and emotional strength—from the inside out.

No bribes. No pressure. Just real words that stick.

5. Redefine Strength

Let’s move away from the idea that “strong” means ” tough and silent,” because that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Strength encompasses far more than just physical power; it can also be emotional, mental, spiritual, intellectual, and more!

🖌️ Say:

“Real strength means staying calm when things get stressful.”
“The best leaders know how to listen.”
“Being in charge of yourself is more powerful than trying to control someone else.”

6. Talk to Girls About Boundaries and Respect

Toxic masculinity isn’t an issue that only affects boys; it also teaches girls harmful ideas, such as “if he teases you, it means he likes you.”

Not only is this attitude confusing for our kids, but it also undermines the importance of mutual respect and healthy relationships.

🖌️ Teach them:

“You never have to be nice to someone who disrespects you.”
“Healthy relationships never ask you to shrink or change who you are.”
“Does this friendship help you feel more like yourself, or less?”
“Respect isn’t just about adults—it’s how we treat everyone.”

7. Don’t Excuse Hurtful Behavior as “Boys Will Be Boys”

Children make mistakes, but accountability is essential.

🖌️ Instead of brushing it off, say:

“You can feel mad, but teasing or hurting someone is not okay.”
“Let’s talk about how to make it right.”

8. Encourage Friendships That Go Deeper

Many boys bond primarily through competition, teasing, or roughhousing. While there is nothing wrong with healthy roughhousing and physical play, we must not forget the importance of emotional connection as well.

💡 What you can do:

Make space for collaborative or creative play (yes—even for teens)
Talk about what makes a true friend: trust, loyalty, emotional safety

BONUS TIP: Show Them Real-Life Role Models

Look for books, shows, coaches, or family members who model emotional strength, respect, and empathy.

When kids see men who lead with kindness—not control—it helps reset the norm.

9. Teach Consent and Body Autonomy Early

As difficult as it may be for parents to accept, it’s essential that discussions about consent and body autonomy begin long before puberty.

Ideally, children are learning the foundations of boundaries from an early age. Holding some more sensitive conversations off until they’re older makes little sense.

🖌️ Use simple phrases like:

“You don’t have to hug anyone if you don’t want to.”
“We always ask before touching someone else.”
“You can say no—and so can others.”

10. Keep the Door Open

Kids don’t always approach us when it’s convenient or endearing. When they sense a safe environment to express their concerns, regardless of the situation, they are more likely to open up.

Even if they feel hesitant, maintaining open lines of communication is an excellent way to show them you are there whenever they are ready. If your child seems distant or hard to reach, this post on why tweens and teens stop talking—and how to reopen the conversation offers practical guidance.

🖌️ Let them know:

“I can tell something’s going on. I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”

You can also create space for deeper conversations with your kids by asking open-ended questions:

“Have you ever felt like you had to act a certain way to fit in?”
“What do your friends do when someone’s upset?”

Staying connected—even in tough moments—helps them feel safe being their whole selves.

Final Thoughts: How Parents Can Break the Cycle of Toxic Masculinity

Parenting in today’s world can feel overwhelming. But you don’t need to have all the answers.

Start with one small shift. Keep the conversation open. And remember: your influence matters more than you think.

Ready to raise kids who…

Express their feelings in healthy ways
Treat others with respect
Know how to set (and respect) boundaries
Lead with kindness—not control

Start your journey with our All-In-One Parenting Success System.

What Is Toxic Masculinity?

Where Toxic Masculinity Comes From—and Why It’s Getting Worse

10 Parenting Tips to Break the Cycle of Toxic Masculinity

1. Normalize All Emotions—Not Just Anger

2. Let Them See You Express Feelings

3. Challenge Harmful Stereotypes Out Loud

4. Praise Real Bravery

Free Download: 27 Ways to Encourage Your Child

5. Redefine Strength

6. Talk to Girls About Boundaries and Respect

7. Don’t Excuse Hurtful Behavior as “Boys Will Be Boys”

8. Encourage Friendships That Go Deeper

BONUS TIP: Show Them Real-Life Role Models

9. Teach Consent and Body Autonomy Early

10. Keep the Door Open

Final Thoughts: How Parents Can Break the Cycle of Toxic Masculinity

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