Tantrum...Are You Making It Worse?

3 Adult Behaviors Guaranteed to Make A Tantrum Continue

1. Reasoning (or trying to prove your point) with a child who’s in the midst of a tantrum. A tantrum-throwing child is in a state of high-emotion and not in a position to rationally consider your suggestions or see things from your point of view. Instead, offer comfort in any way you can – without giving in. Help your child calm his body down with deep breathing, a big hug – whatever will help him get to a place of calm. After the storm has passed, you can calmly discuss what happened and practice a do-over if appropriate.

2. Being firm and then giving in. Sometimes, we just can’t tolerate it any longer. The wailing, the thrashing, the unhappiness. While you “know” you should remain firm, sometimes parents just don’t have the stomach for an Oscar-winning tantrum and eventually give in. Unfortunately, this proves to the child that you’re not an easy nut to crack, but…you will eventually cave if she keeps the tantrum up longer and louder.

3. Adding fuel to the fire. We get it – the crying, whining, negotiating and badgering is more than most parents can take. However, when we “lose it” – yell, threaten, or use physical punishment, it proves to the child that tantrums are a great way to upset us, giving him a giant dose of power. While he may not like our big “losing it” response, it does serve his goal for seeking power – even if it’s negative power.

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Tantrum