“I’m not wearing that!”
If your mornings include a battle over mismatched outfits, last-minute meltdowns, or flat-out refusals to wear what you picked out, you’re not alone.
Clothing-related power struggles are one of the most common triggers for stress and dawdling in the morning—but they’re also one of the easiest to fix.
Try these 4 strategies to give your child more positive power, avoid the daily fight, and bring a little more peace to your morning routine.
1. Create Outfits
For younger children, put “outfits” together on one hanger by gathering matching pants, shirts, and socks, and clipping them together. This gives her the power to choose a completed outfit, and it gives you peace of mind that it won’t be a fashion disaster.
It’s also best to hang the rod at a kid-friendly height, so she can feel capable and independent by reaching it herself.
2. Respect Sensory Complaints
Be aware that some kids are more sensitive to itchy tags, bulky seams, and uncomfortable fabrics. If your son has a fit when you suggest he wear a certain type of shirt (because the tag itches or the fabric feels “icky” on his skin), respect that and remove those clothing choices from the mix.
3. Control the Environment
You can’t “control” children (at least not without a battle!) but you can control the environment. If flip-flops in February are out of the question, don’t battle about them, simply remove them from the closet. If they are no longer among the available alternatives for school clothes, they are no longer a point of contention.
If certain clothes are inappropriate for school, separate their drawers or create sections in the closet for school clothes versus fun clothes. Give your kids the power to choose anything they want to wear as long as it comes from the school drawer.
4. Let it Go
The very best strategy to avoid power struggles and foster independence is to “let it go,” and allow your child to make her own clothing choices.
You can provide some training about “matching colors” if you’d like, but remember that fashion and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder. It’s much more important that she feel independent and powerful by having some control over her day.
Kids perceive that parents call the shots and make most of the decisions. Giving her the option to select her own clothes gives her a big “hit” of positive power and goes a long way in fostering self-sufficiency, avoiding negative power struggles, and limiting morning dawdling!
If her choice does result in a fashion disaster, don’t worry about what others think. Most teachers love to see kids arrive for school in mismatched clothing. They know it means mom and dad recognize their child’s need for independence and positive power.
Final Thoughts
Our All-In-One Parenting Success System® course offers far more strategies for morning dawdling, bedtime battles, chore wars, and more. For a preview, join us for our free online class: Get Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling. Discover why parents say it’s the best hour they’ve devoted to improving their parenting!
