Parenting Blog

Can I borrow $25?

This sounds like a strange heading doesn’t it?  Well, read on and you’ll understand why.

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”

“Yeah sure, what is it?” replied the man

“Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”

“That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?” the man asked angrily.

“I just want to know. Please tell me…how much do you make an hour?”

“If you must know, I make $50 an hour.”

“Oh,” the little boy replied, with his head down.

“Daddy, may I please borrow $25?”

The father was furious. “If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. I don’t work hard everyday to put up with such selfishness.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and closed the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. “How dare he ask such questions only to get some money”, he thought to himself.

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:

“Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really doesn’t ask for money very often”. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

“Are you asleep, son?” He asked.

“No daddy, I’m awake”, replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier” said the man.

“It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. “Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

“Why do you want more money if you already have some?” the father grumbled.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have $50 now…can I buy an hour of your time?  Please come home early tomorrow.  I would like to have dinner with you.”

The father was devastated. As he eyes welled up with tears, he put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness and scheduled dinner for the next evening.

-Author Unknown

This is just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.  We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us…those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with your children.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

If you have gone through Positive Parenting Solutions Online, you know the power of ‘Mind, Body and Soul Time”, the difference it can make in your child’s life and how those misbehaviors disappear as you fill their attention baskets.

If you have not yet enrolled in Positive Parenting Solutions Online, take a closer look at what you will learn and how it will make a difference in your life and in the relationship you have with your children.  ‘Mind, Body and Soul Time’ is just one of over 25 tools you will learn.

YOU are the greatest gift you can ever give them.

Thank you for the commitment you are making to your family!

Praise versus Encouragement – Is there a difference?

Absolutely! In Positive Parenting Solutions Online, participants discover why praise can be detrimental to children. Parents learn the difference between praise and encouragement and how to use encouragement to help develop children to their full potential.

The attached article from the ABC News website is a MUST READ!  It describes the results of a research study by Dr. Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., in which children were offered praise for being “smart” or “brilliant” versus being encouraged for hard work, perseverance and strategy.  Please take a few minutes to read the important outcomes of this study and see how the use of praise negatively impacted the children’s willingness to challenge themselves with more difficult tasks.

Ensure that you’re not raising a “praise junkie” and join Positive Parenting Solutions Online today!

Have a wonderful week with your children!

Study: Kids are troubled by Arguing Parents

New research on how conflicted parental relationships affect kids by the University of Rochester, Syracuse University and the University of Notre Dame shows that children whose parents argue a lot are more likely to have problems, both in school and psychologically. The two year study looked at 216, 6-year-olds for problem behavior, participation in academic activities and cooperation with peers.

Kids who worried about their parents’ relationship had more attention problems a year after their concerns were raised, increasing the likelihood of school problems. The study is published in the September/October issue of the journal Child Development.

Television and Young Children

There is a study that was recently published in the journal Child Development that may be of interest to parents with young children. The previous belief was that if young children (ages 1-3 in this study) were playing in a room with the television on, that they would not be distracted if the show was incomprehensible to them.

This study proves just the opposite. Prior research has suggested that very young children don’t pay attention to TV they can’t understand and recent surveys show that as many as two-thirds of children up to 6 years old live in homes where the TV is on at least half the time, even if no one is watching.

In the new study, researchers say the disruptive effects to the children were “real but small”. When the TV was on, kids played for about 30 seconds, on average with a given toy. Without TV, it was 60 seconds. Some psychologists worry about the cumulative effect as the daily play disruptions add up to weeks and months.

It is important for young children to have “alone” play time. It allows them to explore and to develop their creativity and imagination, as well as grow their sense of independence. Let’s turn off our TVs and let our children get the most from their play time!

A new study confirms as children age, they exercise less

One of the goals of this blog is to provide parenting tips and guide you to resources for assistance…all in an effort to help you at the most important job you will every have – being a parent. From time to time, we’ll write articles in this blog about information that catches our eye.

I recently read about the results of a long-term study by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development which is part of the National Institutes of Health. The study provides the results of how the amount of exercise children in the USA get each day drops dramatically from age 9 to 15. Nine-year-olds get 3 hours a day of moderate to vigorous physical activity. At 15, the amount drops to less than 50 minutes. In fact fewer than one-third of 15 year-olds get 60 minutes a day.

To put this into perspective, the federal government recommends a minimum of 1 hour of activity a day. This inactivity helps explain why one-third of children in the USA – about 23 million ages 2-19 – are overweight and puts them at increased risk of type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol and other health problems.

You can read more about this study:

Think about how you can accomplish two important tasks – spending time with your kids and promoting physical activity. Join your kids in walking the dog, shooting baskets or kicking the soccer ball. It will be time well spent.

Is Time Out a good discipline technique?

Parents are often quick to use “Time Out” as a discipline tool because it is a widely used practice.  Physicians, teachers, and other parents frequently recommend “Time Out” as a way to correct common misbehaviors.  The problem with this thinking is, “Time Out” most often increases the intensity of the power struggle.

“Time Out” is not the same as removing the child from the situation.  For children under the age of 3, using one or more of the Remove and Redirect strategies are most helpful:

· Remove the object

· Remove the child from the environment  (This is not “Time Out”)

· Redirect the child’s attention

· Redirect the child’s activity

After the age of three (and even younger for some children), they understand that they are “independent beings” and using “Time Out” will only intensify the power struggle.  We cannot impose our will on another human being – even a child.  When we try to exercise power over a child, they will naturally fight back.  How can we possibly force a child to stay in “Time Out”?  Some children who are less “spirited” may do as they are told and remain in “Time Out” for the prescribed time – but what are they learning about their misbehavior? Are they sitting in “Time Out” thinking about their poor choice and about how they will do things differently next time?  Probably not!  Most likely they are “stewing” over how unfair it is that Mom or Dad sent them to “Time Out”!

How is “Time Out” related to most misbehaviors?  In most cases, it isn’t.

For consequences to be effective and to provide learning for future behaviors, they must meet the criteria of the 4 R’s.

You will learn about the 4 R’s as well as many other tools to address misbehaviors by enrolling in Positive Parenting Solutions Online.

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