The holidays offer countless wonders: quality time with loved ones, the joy of family traditions, and at least a few weeks where people are particularly nice to one another. But nestled between the “Secret Santa” gift swaps and the glittering candles, the holidays give us yet another amazing thing – the opportunity to give our kids an attitude of gratitude.
Teaching our children to live a grateful life can’t be accomplished in a few short weeks, but the holiday season offers kids and parents alike countless opportunities to practice giving extra thanks to the people who deserve it – and need it – most. And this is the gift that gives back! Research repeatedly shows that gratitude-rich people score higher in happiness and optimism and have fewer instances of stress and depression.
So don’t wait to make this your New Year’s resolution – use the tips below to start your family on the trail to thankfulness today! Read More →
Playing board games is a great way to have fun and bond as a family. But any game begs the question: do you let your kids win so they feel good about themselves and stay interested, or do you play fair–and win sometimes–at the risk of discouraging them?
Before you stack the deck for the next round of Candyland, keep reading for some helpful pointers below.
verdue library books. Smelly gym clothes. Permission slips rushed to school as the field-trip bus is about to pull away. When will kids learn to remember the things they need before the guilty, “Um, I forgot…” phone call?
As you may have heard before, “A child who always forgets has a parent who always remembers.” Which is to say, every time you rescue your kids with constant reminders or by bailing them out when they forget, you actually do them a disservice, as they never feel the sting of their forgetfulness and learn to take responsibility.
I’m not talking about the occasional slips of mind. You know you have a real problem when you’re dropping off a lunchbox or musical instrument on a weekly basis for one of your kids. Here’s how to solve it: Read More →
Do you ever feel like a parrot in your attempts to get your kids to use their manners?
You’ve worked on “please” and “thank you” since they were two–so why do they seem to need a refresher course on a daily basis? Trust me, you’re not alone.
In parenting education circles, we often say, “A child who always forgets has a parent who always remembers.”
The reality is that constant reminders aren’t likely to change your kids’ behavior long-term. Fortunately, it’s entirely within your reach to raise a child who says “excuse me” even when you’re not around.
Use the five steps below to help your kids brush up on their manners once and for all:
1. Practice What You Preach
Make certain you always remember the “magic word,” whether you’re casually asking your spouse to pass the butter or telling your six-year-old to put her shoes away.
Your kids will learn more by what you do than by what you constantly say.
2. Teach What You Preach
Remember that good manners don’t come naturally–your kids won’t “grow into” them.
You can, however, take time for training on anything from table manners to respect for elders and effectively prepare your kids to handle any social situation with polite ease.
Pick a time when everyone’s calm, and a topic (for instance, how to introduce and be introduced at their cousin’s upcoming wedding). Then talk through the phrases and behavior you expect them to demonstrate. Use action figures or dolls for younger kids, and plenty of practice so that your kids will feel comfortable with the manners you expect.
3. Say What You Like
Once you’ve trained good manners, encourage it by catching your kids “in the right.”
Tell them, “You really made the meal pleasant with your good manners,” or, “Grandma really appreciated being able to tell her story without being interrupted.”
4. Don’t Take “Yes” for an Answer
Let your kids know that you expect to hear “No, thank you,” “Yes, please,” and all the rest–and won’t respond to requests that aren’t accompanied by appropriate manners.
Next time Brady asks for a ride to a friend’s house without a “please,” flash a non-verbal re-do signal (like circling your finger in the air) to gently remind him to rephrase his request more politely.
Make it clear the answer will be a NO unless he can ask using proper manners. To counter bad dinnertime behavior, tell your kids in advance that you’ll clear away the dishes of anyone who doesn’t use good table manners (belching at the table, chewing with an open mouth, etc.).
5. Don’t Say, “What Do You Say?”
Once you’ve trained your kids to say “thank you,” don’t embarrass them with constant reminders–let them shine on their own.
On the other hand, do reveal in advance the natural consequences of rudeness: people won’t want to be around them or do nice things for them. If your kids continue to forget their manners, it might be time for some more training.
With these steps–and plenty of time and practice–your kids will get the hang of “please” and “thank you,” and you’ll stop sounding like a parrot.
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Imagine six days of freedom from being “Mom the Maid”: no cleaning up after kids, doing their dishes, or constantly putting away their toys and school bags.
Jessica Stilwell, mother of three, made headlines a while back when she got just that – by going on strike.
And although in less than a week, her kitchen sink could easily be mistaken for a science experiment and her entire house was now artfully decorated in dirty clothes, she had also taught her kids a very valuable life lesson–and offered hope to parents everywhere who are fed up with their kids not lifting a finger. Read More →
Once again, we’re delighted to welcome author Heather Shumaker to the Positive Parenting Solutions blog for Part 2 of her 2-part series on the topic of sharing. Enjoy!
If you’re tired of playing referee when your kids squabble over who gets a toy, look into a new sharing method based on turn taking.
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