parenting

Bringing Home Baby: 5 Tips to Help Older Siblings Adjust

By Amy McCready on December 9, 2019 / parenting

Little girl holding newborn baby and kissing forehead

You can hear your four-year-old son down the hallway, his excited footsteps getting louder as they approach your hospital room. You’re cradling your newborn in your arms, so excited for the two of them to meet for the first time.

Your oldest bursts through the door and runs over to your bedside. He’s grinning from ear to ear. “Is this my new brother?”

It’s the moment you’ve been dreaming of for nine long months.

Your heart bursts seeing the two of them together. It’s obvious your son absolutely LOVES his new baby brother…maybe a little too much.

It doesn’t take long for you to find yourself throwing out the same old lines:

“Careful, honey, don’t squeeze him!”

“No, you are not big enough to hold him by yourself!”

“Please, just leave the baby alone. He’s sleeping!”

The constant correction and string of “nos” start to wear on your oldest and resentment sets in. After all, it wasn’t long ago that he had mom and dad all to himself.

“Can’t the baby just go back in mommy’s tummy?” he asks.

There’s no denying that bringing home a second child is completely new territory–for both you as parents and for your oldest child! Gone are the days of simply trying to figure out how to care for a newborn. Now you have the added responsibility of meeting the needs of two children.

Daunting as it may seem, it is completely normal for your oldest to experience some jealousy with the addition of a new baby. As with any big life change, it takes some time to adjust–especially for young children.

Here are 5 tips for helping your firstborn adjust to life with a baby sibling.

Note: We know that sibling rivalry is a big concern for many parents, which is why we’ve dedicated an entire session to this one issue. For Positive Parenting Solutions® course members, review Step 5, “Conflict Resolution and Sibling Rivalry.”

Tip #1: MIND, BODY AND SOUL TIME® Connection (MBST)

Those early days, weeks, and months with a new baby are something special. Hectic? Sure. Tiresome? Absolutely. But special, nonetheless, because that is the time you truly start to bond with your new child.

There’s nothing quite like enjoying those precious newborn snuggles while swaying back and forth in a rocking chair, or catching a strong whiff of that sweet baby smell as you give her a bath.

Still, as important as it is to bond with your newborn, it is equally important–if not more so–to put forth the effort of making time for your oldest child–to reinforce his emotional connection with you. This is where MIND, BODY AND SOUL TIME® togetherness comes in.

Each parent should set aside 10-15 minutes at least once per day to spend with their oldest, one-on-one. Maybe your daughter enjoys playing with LEGO or your son loves coloring. Whatever it may be, let them choose the activity, and then do it together–without distraction. Be totally present in mind, body and soul for those 10 minutes with your oldest.

Like medicine for misbehavior, MBST will give your child a healthy dose of much-needed attention. It also serves as a great reminder that they are still important to you, even with the new baby around.

Note: Curious how you can manage MIND, BODY AND SOUL TIME® activities with a newborn? For Positive Parenting Solutions® course members, review Step 1 to learn the ins and outs of MBST and also see the Ultimate Survival Guide, “MBST: Your Secret Weapon for Better Behavior.”

Tip #2: Try to Keep Their Routine

It’s easy to feel all alone during those 3 AM feeding sessions when everyone else is blissfully asleep, without a care in the world. But the truth is, a new baby is stressful for the entire family–including your older child.

In what felt like the blink of an eye, everything in your life has suddenly changed. Sleep is disrupted, laundry is piling up, and your stress level has reached an all-time high.

Yes, change is certainly hard on us as adults. But it can be particularly troublesome for young kids because with change comes insecurity.

Your oldest may find himself wondering: Do mommy and daddy still love me like they used to? Why don’t they spend as much time with me as they used to? Where do I fit in?

Fortunately, kids thrive on predictable routines.

Want to provide a nice buffer from any negative feelings that may be sparked by the baby’s arrival? Make sure you keep up with the same daily routine he always had–or as close to it as possible.

For instance, does your child have a particular bedtime routine? Stick with it…but with, perhaps, one adjustment.

The addition of a new baby may mean a split in responsibility between both parents. While you both may have done bedtime tuck-in together in the past, now it may not be possible as one parent must be off with the baby.

Let me assure you, that’s completely fine! I would argue it’s preferable because it offers your child a big dose of one-on-one attention.

So give him a bath, brush his teeth, read a book–whatever your routine may have been before–and make sure it stays the same each night. You’ll be amazed at the difference you see in your oldest child’s behavior.

Note: For Positive Parenting Solutions® course members, review Step 3, Lesson 24 to learn how you can institute no-nagging, sanity-saving routines into your day.

Tip #3: Let Them Help

In many ways, kids are just like adults. They don’t just want to know that their contributions make a difference to their family–they need to know!

This is a wonderful thing to consider when introducing a new baby to the family. After all, babies are a lot of work. It makes sense to let every family member contribute to their care, even the older sibling.

Be sure to find age-appropriate tasks your oldest can do in order to help care for the baby. If your oldest is between the ages of 18 months and 3 years, have him take dirty diapers to the diaper pail or give the baby a pacifier. If he is a little older, perhaps you let him help prepare the bottles or fold the burp cloths.

By allowing him to actively contribute to the new baby’s care, you’re giving him a hearty boost of positive power while also helping him bond with his new sibling. It really is a win-win.

Tip #4: Remind Them of Their Significance

A child’s primary goal is to achieve a sense of belonging within your family unit and to feel significant. Naturally, this can feel threatened when a new baby enters the scene.

Make it a habit to regularly remind your oldest of the important role he plays in the family–as a brother and as a son.

Try using encouraging phrases that focus on the effort he’s putting in like:

“I appreciate you helping me feed the baby.”

“I can tell you really care about your brother/sister when you help me change their diaper.”

“Thank you for putting the baby’s clothes away. That makes a big difference for our family.”

By offering up a regular dose of encouragement, you’ll ensure that he is positively reminded of his significance to the family, and more importantly, the new baby. This will help combat any negative feelings of jealousy or sibling rivalry.

Tip #5: Mind Your Tone

Just imagine, you’ve finally gotten your newborn to fall asleep after an hour-long bout of incessant crying. You check on your older son, who is happily playing with trucks in his room.

Perfect! You’ve got at least five minutes of free time. Maybe now you can finally grab a quick shower.

However, just as you pull back the shower curtain you hear it–the high-pitched wail of your newborn being ripped from his slumber.

Half-naked and partially covered by a towel, you run into the nursery only to find your oldest beside the crib. His arm is reaching in between the bars, pinching his brother’s tiny cheeks.

You see red.

When an older sibling is rough or reckless with the baby–especially when safety is involved–it is natural to want to raise your voice. You may feel the urge to yell or shout, if only to get his attention and ensure it doesn’t happen again. But, be careful!

Your tone of voice is powerful. Although it isn’t your intention, any harshness in your tone may be just enough to make your older child feel discouraged and therefore blame the baby for that feeling.

Instead, try to keep your voice calm but stern, especially if safety is at risk. A calm voice doesn’t mean your child gets away with it. You can still take time for training on gentle touch in the future and better yet, “control the environment” by putting a door monkey on your newborn’s door so your older child can’t get into the baby’s room during nap time.

But, staying calm in the heat of the moment keeps the communication lines open and allows your older child the opportunity to learn from his mistake (instead of fear the wrath of mommy).

And, more importantly, your calm voice will ensure there aren’t any lingering feelings of resentment towards the baby.

Final Thoughts

Congratulations! Bringing a new baby into the world is certainly something to celebrate, even if it isn’t your first.

And when it comes to big brother or sister, understanding that a little jealousy is normal goes a long way. Still, why not try to put a stop to the green-eyed monster before he’s reared his big green head?

Using these tips and the numerous other resources that our Positive Parenting Solutions® course offers, we’re here to help you navigate those early weeks, months, and even years of parenting multiple children.

Want to see what we are all about? Register now for our Free Webinar: Get Kids to Listen Without Nagging or Yelling.

Title Image: Dmitry Naumov / Shutterstock https://www.shutterstock.com/photos

4 Strategies for Dealing with Tantrums in Public

By Amy McCready on December 3, 2019 / parenting

Young child throwing a tantrum at their parents feet

It’s an hour past your son’s bedtime, but sleep is the furthest thing from his mind as he throws his little body onto his bedroom floor. All he wanted was just one more sip of water.

He screams, he cries, he shouts. It’s nothing you haven’t been through before, but it hurts nonetheless. No one likes a temper tantrum.

You stand idly by, utterly exhausted, and think, “Is there anything on earth worse than this right here?”

Of course, you know the answer.

Yes. There is indeed something worse. After all, you could have an audience.

I’m talking about public temper tantrums.

I’m sure you can just imagine it now. The snickering, the finger-pointing, the staring. Public tantrums are uncomfortable, awkward, and downright humiliating. But more than anything–they’re common!

In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to find an experienced parent who hasn’t had at least one mortifying tale to tell when it comes to their little one breaking down in the middle of a crowded place. So take comfort in knowing that you are most certainly not alone.

Still, just because they do happen doesn’t mean they have to happen. Because going out in public with your child should not be something you dread.

Tantrum Prevention

Naturally, stopping a tantrum from happening in the first place is much more ideal than having to deal with one once it’s already begun. You know your child better than anyone else; what makes him tick and what sets him off. Now is the time to be proactive! Try and avoid a tantrum all together by taking charge and thinking ahead before ever stepping foot outside your house.

Of course, even with the best preparation, sometimes tantrums are simply unavoidable. Even in public places. When that happens, it’s time to go to the next best option…

Tantrum Diffusion

In a perfect world, our children would behave like angels any time we went out in public. There would be no need to worry about last-minute trips to the grocery store or play dates that extend into naptime.

But that’s not reality, is it?

Tantrums happen and, all too often, they happen in public. When they do, you may be tempted to yell, threaten, or cry yourself–but don’t! Instead, look for ways to diffuse the tantrum rather than fan the flame.

Here are 4 strategies you can use for dealing with tantrums in public.

Strategy #1: Be Prepared

When it comes to doing anything with children–especially going out in public–preparation is key.

Before leaving your house, make a mental checklist of where you will be going and what issues could possibly arise to trigger a tantrum–then prepare for them!

Does your grocery trip set off a tantrum each time you pass the toy aisle and not allow your son to buy a new Hot Wheel? Is your doctor’s appointment right across the street from your daughter’s favorite ice cream shop?

When tantrums start to arise, distraction is key. Having a few small games, coloring books, or toys on hand can help keep your child’s mind busy and a tantrum at bay.

Not sure what toys would be best to bring along? Aim for sensory toys! Not only do kids find them enjoyable to play with, but they are stimulating enough to help develop their fine and gross motor skills. Textured balls and shaker eggs are perfect for keeping your younger toddlers and babies occupied, while fidget spinners and silly putty are great for older kids.

It’s also equally important to prepare yourself mentally. Despite your best efforts, a public tantrum may still happen. If it does, set your intentions clearly beforehand: You are not going to worry about the judgment of others. Instead, you will focus on the needs of your child and the situation.

Knowing and accepting that a tantrum may still happen will help you remain calm and respond to the situation appropriately.

Strategy #2: Give Them a Job

You’ve tried and tried to put it off as long as you could, but your empty pantry and barren refrigerator seem to be screaming at you, “It’s time to go grocery shopping!”

And if that’s not enough, you have to bring along your four-year-old daughter, which makes the task so much more daunting. After all, her attention span is incredibly short and you’re looking at a minimum hour-long shopping trip. From experience, you know a public tantrum is likely.

You could just stay home. That half sleeve of saltines should be enough to live off of for the foreseeable future, right?

OR, you could confidently go to the store…and give your daughter a job.

Who says grocery shopping has to be a chore?

Why not make it a fun experience by coming up with a grocery store scavenger hunt? Armed with a clipboard, crayon, and your grocery list, find fun ways to incorporate what items you need with scavenger hunt items she must find.

Need to make a trip down the cereal aisle? Send her on the hunt for brands that start with the letter C. Looking for some fresh produce? How many green vegetables can she find? Not only will this game give her a boost of positive power from helping you do the shopping, but it should also be enough to keep her entertained for the entirety of the trip.

Strategy #3: Control Your Reaction

As a parent, your reaction to your child’s tantrum can be a force for good or evil. I’m kidding, of course, but there is a fine line between overreacting and not reacting at all.

On the one hand, an overreaction on your part could prove to your child that he can successfully push your buttons by acting out in public, thus giving him a reason to continue the negative behavior in the future. However, not reacting at all and ignoring your child’s tantrum may not be wise if he truly does need your help in working through his big emotions.

Like I said, it’s a delicate line to toe.

In order to make sure your reaction is spot on, it’s important to understand that there are two types of tantrums: upstairs (manipulative) and downstairs (meltdowns).

According to Dr. Daniel Siegel, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child, Upstairs tantrums come from the more highly developed “upstairs” part of the brain used for logical thinking, regulating emotions and evaluating consequences.

With this type of tantrum, the child makes a conscious decision to act out and push the limits to get her way, and can also decide to stop acting out as soon as you give in to her demands. Simply put, these tantrums are designed to manipulate you.

With an upstairs tantrum it is best to simply not react so he doesn’t get a power payoff from acting out. Remove yourself from the situation–no eye contact, no talking down, and no negotiating.

Downstairs tantrums deal with what Positive Parenting Solutions calls “meltdown” tantrums. These tantrums are controlled by the downstairs part of a child’s brain, which handles such tasks as breathing, blinking, and instinctual reactions. In this type of tantrum, the child has been pushed beyond his physical or emotional limit and “melts down” as a result.

Here the child is so upset he can no longer access his higher-level “upstairs” thinking, such as using any form of logic. Which explains why telling him “the blue plate is in the dishwasher” gets you nowhere when he’s tired and hungry after a morning of errands.

Your reaction to a downstairs tantrum is equally as important as your lack of a reaction to an upstairs tantrum. Here is where your child needs you to help him calm his big emotions while you make a mental note that you’ll want to do some training on managing overwhelming feelings in the future.

Note: For Positive Parenting Solutions Members, review Session 4 for more information on how to handle tantrums of any kind, at any place, and for any age!

Strategy #4: Change the Scenery

After a long morning spent running errands around town, you decide to treat your two-year-old to a Happy Meal and a trip to the play place. After all, he did so well behaving all morning.

Once the nuggets are eaten and the restaurant starts to quiet, you look down at your watch. It’s naptime.

You walk over to your son, happily playing in the ball pit and say, “Time to get out, sweetie. We need to go home for a nap.”

Suddenly, the sweet little boy you’ve known all morning is nowhere to be seen. His face squinches in rage as he starts to scream in protest. Before you know it, balls are being thrown, tears are being shed, and a full-on public temper tantrum has begun.

You can feel the other parents in the room staring at you. Some offer a nod of condolence–surely they’ve been in your shoes before–but most just stare, making you feel like an ant under a magnifying glass.

With the tantrum in full-swing and your anxiety rising by the second, the best thing you can do in the moment is to change the scenery. Find someplace in the area more private–perhaps the bathroom or your car outside–and remove both yourself and your son from the room.

While it can be embarrassing walking away with a thrashing toddler hoisted over your shoulder, finding a more private place to deal with the tantrum will help calm your nerves and allow you to focus on helping your son without the distraction of an audience.

Final Thoughts

No matter who you are or how long you’ve been a parent, dealing with your child’s temper tantrums in public is never easy.

We’ve all been there–fighting through the embarrassment, anger, sadness, and utter desperation that pops up when it seems as though all the world’s judgment is focused squarely on us. But there is help!

Not only can we help you find ways to stop tantrums before they’ve begun, but the Positive Parenting Solutions course is also filled with useful tools and strategies to help you deal with temper tantrums of every kind, in every place, with every age.

Feel free to give us test us a test run first by JOINING ME FOR A FREE ONLINE CLASS where I’ll teach you how to get your kids to listen–no nagging, yelling, or reminding required.

I assure you, no tantrum is too big to handle. Especially when you’ve got the right tools in your belt and the right support to help you every step of the way.

Title Image: Lolostock / Shutterstock https://www.shutterstock.com/photos

Elf on the Shelf: Does it Really Improve Kids’ Behavior?

By Amy McCready on December 1, 2019 / parenting

Each holiday season, many of us hype up the endearing magic of jolly old St. Nick, his busy, benevolent elves, and his bottomless bag of toys. We adore seeing the wonder and anticipation in our children’s eyes as we paint the scene of Santa’s soon-to-be visit. We dream of our kids’ holidays being nothing less than the merriest and the brightest.

A mere moment later, we turn the tables and use the same holiday magic for chiding, warnings, and bribes.

“If you want presents this year, Jackson, you need to stop whining!”

“You’d better follow the rules, Maddie–Santa’s always watching and listening!”

It’s understandable. After all, all we want for Christmas is the magic of well-behaved kids.

Many of us enlist help from an Elf on the Shelf to remind our kids that he’s keeping tabs and monitoring their place on the infamous naughty or nice list. We explain he’ll report back to Santa every night regarding their behavior.

Sure, the Elf returns to a new spot each morning, often doing funny, silly things. But for many families, he’s partially there to warn children that a lack of good behavior leads to a lack of presents.

Knowing that Santa’s Elf is constantly watching over them can create discouragement and anxiety for kids–especially for those who struggle with impulse control or who have difficulty making good choices. Most kids’ brains and bodies fire long before considering what the Elf may be reporting to Santa.

And let’s be honest–would we really withhold that new scooter or train set on Christmas morning because the Elf spied our daughter sweeping cookie crumbs under the rug?

Instead of an Elf that manipulates our kids with the lure of presents and unsettles them with a judgmental eye, why not use our little elf “helper” solely as entertainment and holiday fun?

Here’s how to really encourage good behavior; not just around the holidays, but all year long.

Ditch the Rewards–All of Them

Will your teenager shovel the driveway if you promise him money? Very likely. Will your young daughter smile for Santa if you promise her a candy cane? Quite possibly. Will your kids eat asparagus with the reward of your mother-in-law’s infamously dry fruitcake? Well, that might be a no.

The truth is, we give our kids presents and rewards for everything these days. Why? Because the promise of rewards is a quick and easy way to get kids to comply.

The same goes for the promise of presents during the holiday season. The holidays can be an extremely busy and stressful time of year for parents and kids alike. We may notice that our kids are misbehaving just as much as, if not more than, usual.

After all, ’tis the season for the same old whining, tantrums, and disobedience.

As a result, many of us turn to bribes. With presents in the near future, it seems like an opportune time to hold them over our kids’ heads. But what happens when the holidays are over and Elf on the Shelf gets packed away in the attic?

At Positive Parenting Solutions, we teach that short-term rewards fail to instill long-term motivation. We can’t maintain rewards throughout a child’s entire life for every good deed they accomplish.

We can’t afford it, foremost, but even if we could, it doesn’t teach kids that good behavior has better benefits–like success in school, helping others, and self-respect.

Instead, rewards make good behavior seem like a chore and, eventually, lead to entitlement.

This doesn’t mean we aren’t going to buy our kids presents for the holidays or that Santa won’t be swinging by our house. Nor does it mean we can’t make a funny little elf do silly things on our mantle. But it does mean we shouldn’t dangle rewards like a carrot in exchange for our children’s cooperation.

Please Note: For Positive Parenting Solutions Members, please visit the Battle-Tested Blueprint, Say NO to Rewards and Praise.

The When-Then Tool

One of my favorite tools to share with parents is the When-Then tool, which is a reliable way to encourage good behavior.

If we use When-Then, we don’t need to constantly demand, nag, or employ an observing elf to get our kids to accomplish less-than-desirable tasks.

If we want our kids to clean up in preparation for Grandma and Grandpa’s annual visit, we can simply say, “When you’ve cleaned up your room, Maddie, then you can play with your LEGOS” or, “When you’ve finished folding your laundry, Zach, then you can go to your friend’s house.”

When-Then works like a charm because it gives our kids more control and avoids power struggles. They can decide when they complete the task–which subsequently determines when they can enjoy their privilege.

Even if it’s begrudgingly at first, they start taking on more responsibility. Because at this point, it isn’t us standing in their way–or a spying elf–it’s only them.

One big caveat: When-Then needs to be used with already established privileges, like a kid’s usual TV time or after-school activities. Otherwise, the “then” will just be perceived as another reward.

Focus On Effective Consequences

If we want our kids to follow our rules, then we need to apply effective consequences.

Consequences that are unfair or unrelated to misbehavior will only aggravate our children.

If your 11-year-old stays up too late watching Home Alone and tells you the next morning she’s too tired to play in her hockey game, expect her to meet her obligations by going to the game and experiencing the natural consequences of her previous night’s actions. She’ll likely endure game-losing fatigue, feel remorseful about her choice, and learn to never stay up late before a game again.

Bringing Elf on the Shelf into the mix, though, (or in any way reminding her that her presents may be withheld in exchange for her late-night viewing) would seem unfair.

Fair consequences are effective consequences. And nine times out of ten, consequences aren’t even necessary. If we get to the root of the misbehavior, we can avoid them altogether.

Give Kids Your Attention

One of the biggest motivators for misbehavior is actually a lack of attention.

It may or may not be surprising, but to a kid, even negative attention is better than no attention at all.

Imagine, especially during the holidays, how easy it can be to give our kids less of our time and focus. The holidays are about spending time with family, but the reality is much more chaotic.

Because of this, our children may be feeling less significant in our lives (and more inclined to catch our glances by any means necessary).

Kids don’t care what time of year it is, or how many presents we have to buy, wrap, and ship off to relatives. They are oblivious to the holiday work parties and potlucks we’re scheduled to attend. They may not realize how involved we are behind the scenes for their school parties, holiday programs, and teacher holiday gifts.

They just want to spend some time with us this holiday season–and sadly, that can be really hard to do.

No matter what your seasonal stressors are, the best way to make this time of year–well, any time of year–really valuable and misbehavior-free is to focus on one-on-one quality time with your kids.

I always recommend daily, uninterrupted time together for a minimum of 10-20 minutes, doing something your child chooses.

This is one of the most effective ways to battle common misbehaviors.

Take Time for Training

Kids may be innocent, but we know all too well they aren’t born with perfect skills or behavior.

If your 4-year-old is having full-on meltdowns every time she struggles to buckle her snow boots (ahem…because she’s already wearing gloves), it’s better not to get testy, yell, or remind her that the Elf is watching.

A better solution is the Take Time for Training tool.

Your daughter doesn’t need to be bribed to stop complaining, nor should she be worried that Santa won’t deliver the My Little Pony she requested. She just needs you to take time to show her, perhaps more than once, that she should buckle her boots before putting on her gloves.

It may mean we have to completely stop what we’re doing and calmly show our kids the process. It could be as simple as showing our daughter how to get dressed or demonstrating to our exasperated, and LATE, teenage son how to free up his car’s frozen windshield wipers. Taking the time for training solves common frustrations and keeps them from recurring.

It’s so simple to think that we just need to spend a few minutes teaching our children what they don’t naturally know how to do. Yet it’s easily overlooked when we’re tired, frustrated, and busy (like all year round).

Final Thoughts

I realize that Elf on the Shelf is largely for fun and can brighten up any December morning with hilarious antics–unless you stayed up too late on Pinterest feverishly researching how to one-up your previous night’s elf display and now need extra coffee.

But my advice? If we want to focus on better behavior this holiday season, let Elf on the Shelf stick to the jokes. (He’s more of a born comedian, anyway.)

All it will really take for a great holiday and beyond with your kids is just a little positive parenting magic.

For more of our Positive Parenting “magic,” please join me for a FREE online class. You’ll be introduced to some basic positive parenting ideas that can really make a difference this holiday season–and beyond.

How to Talk to Your Child About Cyberbullying

By Amy McCready on November 19, 2019 / parenting

Your heart ached for your newborn baby as you paced her nursery in the middle of the night, desperately trying to calm her colicky cries.

You choked back tears and held her hand as the nurse administered her vaccinations.

You cried freely, wrapping her in your warm embrace the first time she came to you with a broken heart.

As a parent, there is nothing more excruciating than having to watch your child suffer. Whether that pain be physical, mental, or emotional, the ache is real, and you would do anything to make it better.

Of course, you can kiss away boo-boos and mend cuts and scrapes, but what about the invisible pain your child may be subjected to?

In all my years as a parenting educator, there’s one topic in particular that breaks the hearts of parents everywhere– bullying.

In addition to causing long-term problems, bullying can have a tremendously negative impact on a child’s mental health and well-being. Children who are bullied are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, health concerns, and struggle academically.

Of course parents are concerned!

Still, times are changing. Through the use of technology and social media, we are more connected now than ever before–which can be a wonderful thing! However, with this technological shift comes a change in how we interact with one another and how our kids do, too.

There was a time when bullying never left the confines of the school playground. Today, however, those borders no longer exist.

Now, kids carry their bullies around inside their pockets, bringing them along wherever they go. Smartphones, tablets, and laptops have paved the way for a new form of bullying known as cyberbullying.

Though similar to regular bullying, cyberbullying takes the trauma one step further by allowing aggressors to follow the victim wherever they go. No longer are kids only facing harassment from their classmates during school hours. Virtually anyone, anywhere, anytime can bully another person by simply jumping on the Internet or using a cell phone.

Just a couple years ago, the suicide of 15-year-old Phoebe Prince left the country in shock when it was discovered that the young girl had been relentlessly harassed and tortured online and by phone. This sparked a conversation around the dangers of cyberbullying that is still ongoing, especially considering the amount of time kids spend on mobile devices.

Most youth spend about seven and a half hours each day tethered to their devices. These kinds of numbers can be enough to make any parent nervous. But the truth is, technology isn’t going anywhere–and that’s not a bad thing!

Instead of living in fear of technology, have a conversation with your kids about the risks associated with technology and the effects of cyberbullying.

Not sure where to begin? Here are a few suggestions on how you can talk to your kids about cyberbullying today.

Note: For Positive Parenting Solutions Members, please see the Expert Series, “Bullying.”

Open the Discussion

Your fingers nervously tap against the steering wheel as your son gets into the car after school. You’ve seen it on the news and read about it in the paper; cyberbullying is at an all-time high for kids your son’s age.

Today’s the day you decide to talk with him about it.

Of course, getting your son to talk about, well, anything really, can be as painful as pulling teeth. But this is one discussion you know has to be had. And you’re the only one who can start the conversation.

You decide it’s best to just dive right in. “I’ve heard a lot about cyberbullying lately. It seems like a real problem for kids your age. What do you know about cyberbullying?”

He simply shrugs.

“Do you know anyone who has been cyberbullied?” you ask.

Again, he says nothing. You knew this would be difficult, but he’s not saying anything.

So what do you do?

As awkward as it may feel, try to keep the conversation going without being too pushy. You’ll want to keep your initial questions vague, not focusing on him directly.

Even if he stays silent, let him know you are always there for him, no matter what. Assure him he can come to you with any problem and you will discuss it free of judgment or shame.

This is a tough conversation–especially if your son happens to be the victim of cyberbullying. By opening the discussion in a non-threatening manner, you can pave the way for more in-depth conversations down the road once trust has been established.

State the Ground Rules

You take a deep breath as you sit down at the kitchen table with your thirteen-year-old daughter. Her brand new cell phone is clutched in your palm.

“Before I give this to you, we need to go over some ground rules,” you say.

Her eyes roll to the top of her head. You expected nothing less, but still, it hurts. She simply doesn’t get it. She has no idea the power this tiny device can possess.

Despite her attitude, you push on, knowing it’s for the best.

“Having a smartphone is a privilege for you to enjoy, not a right. I must know all of your passwords, I can check in at any time, and it must be turned off before bedtime.”

Though she’s not exactly pleased with the rules, your daughter accepts, knowing this is what it takes to earn a privilege she so desperately wants.

When it comes to preventing cyberbullying, setting the ground rules early, and stating them often, is critical.

How much time will she be allowed on her devices? What are her passwords and login information? Does she know about proper online etiquette?

Have a plan set for what rules you want her to follow–ideally before she even has the technology in hand–and lay them out, clear and concise. That way, should an issue arise, you’ll have your finger on the pulse, ready to take action at a moment’s notice.

Is your child already well acquainted with their smartphone and tablet? No need to worry! It’s never too late to implement some ground rules.

Please Note: For Positive Parenting Solutions members, check out the advanced module Family Technology Survival Plan to learn the top 7 technology mistakes you might be making and the secrets to the Family Technology Contract and how to stick with it.

Treat Them as Adults

“Stop treating me like a baby! I’m practically an adult.”

You’ve heard these words from your teenage son more times than you care to mention. Usually you respond with the cliché comeback, “I’ll start treating you like an adult when you start acting like one!”

But not today. Instead you simply say, “Wish granted.”

Over the past few months you’ve noticed your son becoming more and more absorbed by social media. When he’s not checking his phone for the latest fantasy football update, he’s on his computer scrolling through Instagram.

Now is truly the time to treat him as an adult.

Because like it or not, his online life exists in a world where many of the consequences for his actions lie outside the realm of your control. You can’t fully protect him, and that worries you.

So what do you do? Begin the conversation.

Let him know that just as in “real” life, there are laws and regulations governing cyberspace. Many things that may seem harmless online could potentially be considered criminal. What he feels may qualify as a harmless prank on a fellow classmate could be considered harassment and is punishable by law just as it would be in person.

Also, make it clear that what he puts online is public record and can follow him for the rest of his life, especially when it comes to college admissions and future career opportunities. There’s no need to sugar coat it–privacy doesn’t exist online.

The fact is, real-world consequences exist online. Because of that, the use of technology and social media comes with an adult-sized dose of responsibility. Therefore, having an adult conversation is not just important, it’s essential.

Emphasize Safety

From the moment you brought her home from the hospital, your daughter’s safety has been your number one concern. You installed every baby gate, purchased the highest quality bicycle helmets, and never let her ride in a car without a seatbelt.

Now here you stand, facing an entirely new threat as you hand over her first smartphone.

You know it’s time. Between all of the after-school activities and weekend sleepovers, you find comfort in knowing she’s just a call away. But you also understand the risk and want her to understand it as well.

But how do you initiate the conversation?

To start, make sure she knows her worth. Tell her, “You have a right to be treated safely, both in person and online, no matter what.”

When you do this, you’ll find an amazing thing happens. You empower her! And the more empowered she feels now, the more likely she’ll be to disengage from anyone that tries to make her feel differently later.

Next, let her know which steps you’re taking in order to ensure she stay safe online. Perhaps you’ve enabled software that prohibits anything inappropriate from popping up or you insist on knowing all of her social media passwords.

This isn’t an excuse to be snoopy. You simply care about her enough to put forth the effort to ensure she stays safe.

Finally, talk to her about the risks. How much does she know about cyberbullying? Does she know who to go to for help?

Above all else, just remember, cyber safety is–and always should be–an ongoing conversation. Normalizing the issue now will help make sure that safety online is always at the forefront of her mind.

Encourage Empathy

Your son has always had a chip on his shoulder. He’s the captain of the football team, a straight-A student, and friends with just about everyone.

You love that about him but often wonder: His life is just so easy. Does he know that’s not the case for everyone?

Empathy. It’s a trait we all want to see in our children.

Though the concept is easy enough, the execution can be difficult, especially for kids whose lives are already complicated enough. They can barely understand their own feelings and now we want them to understand the feelings of others, too?

I know encouraging empathy may seem difficult when parenting young children and teens, especially when they’re still learning emotional control. But, raising empathy-rich children can have a tremendous impact on their lives and the lives of others.

When it comes to cyberbullying, help your child take a walk in another person’s shoes.

Ask them, “How would you feel if someone sent you hateful comments or messages?”

And be sure not to avoid the hard topics. Perhaps they knew someone who, like Phoebe Prince, was pushed to suicide?

“How do you think they felt when they were being bullied?” or “Who could they have reached out to for help?”

Allowing your child to truly identify with others in that situation decreases the likelihood of them bullying another person. Likewise, it allows them to reflect on their own personal situation. If they are currently being bullied, an exercise in empathy may be just the reminder they need to know they are not alone.

Final Thoughts

At times it can seem as though our world is changing so swiftly we can’t keep up. We may remember the feeling of being bullied as a kid, but the thought of being bullied in a world so deeply encompassed by technology and social media can be hard to imagine.

Take heart! Because, believe it or not, the change is actually not as grand as it may seem. In fact, very little about bullying has changed other than the way it is carried out.

Please don’t skip out on having this very important conversation with your children. You have the knowledge to face this problem head-on!

Still feel like you need a little extra support? Not to worry. We want to be the support you need. The Positive Parenting Solutions course was designed for parents just like you who are looking for tools they can use to help with issues just like these.

You may also JOIN ME FOR A FREE ONLINE CLASS.

Let’s work together to ensure your kids are happy, healthy, and most importantly safe online.

Eight Tips to More Grateful Kids

By Amy McCready on November 16, 2019 / parenting

Ah, those pesky first-world problems–like when your distraught teenager can’t get cell service on your Thanksgiving road trip or when your toddler has a tantrum because you won’t buy him yet another toy at the store.

Most of us are raising our kids with more luxuries than we had growing up. Life is certainly hard, and growing up will always have its aches and pains, but in a generation full of materialism and entitlement, how do we tactfully–and effectively– teach our kids appreciation for what they have?

If we constantly insist, “You don’t know how lucky you are,” or “In my day, I didn’t have the things you do,” it will just sound like pestering and make our kids feel like we don’t understand their problems.

So, how can we help our kids be thankful in a way that really resonates with them?

As the holidays approach, there’s no better time to shift our children’s focus toward an attitude of gratitude. Here are 8 ways to encourage more thankful kids.

1. Implement Family Contributions

Maybe you’re in the habit of getting most household chores done yourself. Sometimes, frankly, it’s just easier, because it gets done your way and doesn’t involve nagging your kids to do it.

If we sense our kids aren’t grateful enough–either about the work it takes to run a household, the job we have that buys them clothes, or the car maintenance it requires to drive them all around town–then we need to increase their family contributions.

The first step to family contributions is to label them as such. The word chores sounds like a real drag, doesn’t it? Instead, when we label tasks as family contributions, it reminds our kids that these tasks actually help everyone out. They contribute to the family.

This doesn’t mean our kids will suddenly like the tasks at hand or stop whining about them just because we shifted our language. But if family contributions become routine, kids are more likely to stop complaining. They’ll also grasp how frequently these tasks need to be accomplished–like unloading the dishwasher and folding the laundry–and chances are they’ll earn a whole new respect for what their parents and caregivers do on a daily basis.

Please Note: For Positive Parenting Solutions members, please review Sessions 3 and 4 in the online course for loads of strategies to get kids to do their Family Contributions without you having to nag or remind. Also, don’t forget about the advanced module on Chore Wars, where you’ll discover a simple contract to turn complaining into cooperating.

2. Schedule Acts of Service

We all have good intentions to bake cookies for the neighbors, stock the local food pantry, or collect donations for the underprivileged–especially around the holidays. Unfortunately, our crazy daily routines tend to edge out these activities.

Consider making acts of service a priority in your family. Have a family meeting and let everyone brainstorm ideas for service activities that are near and dear to them. Then, schedule one or two per month–all year long.

Maybe your 4-year-old cat lover would like the family to volunteer at the local animal shelter. For Thanksgiving, your teen may suggest visiting and entertaining the elderly at your local senior center. You could even go to the park and collect trash together.

When we make time for these simple–yet profound–contributions, the benefits abound. Our kids develop a stronger sense of community and connection to service work. They’ll experience the joy that comes from making a difference in someone else’s life. They’ll feel more connected to their families. And they’ll feel more grateful for the things they have.

3. Make Do With Less

It’s easy for kids and adults to get accustomed to the good life. The ease of things. The expectation that all our favorites will be in the lunchbox or that the newest gadget or gizmo will DEFINITELY be under the Christmas tree.

Unfortunately, this can lead to a life of entitlement and taking things for granted.

Once a month, choose something your family can live without. Maybe you can skip pizza delivery for a few weeks, go without television for a while, or go without air conditioning for a week in July. When we “shut off” some of our conveniences, even for a short time, we realize how much we really have.

4. Look for Silver Linings

The next time an unfortunate situation comes up, focus on the silver lining.

The movie you wanted to see is sold out? No problem. Point out that you now have time to go sledding together instead.

Kids missed the bus? Now you can have a sing-off in the car on the way to school.

Focusing on silver linings is about having a posture of gratitude even when–especially when–things aren’t going well.

Our kids are going to have endless ups and downs along their life journey, and if they don’t learn to weather the downs with some optimism, they’re going to struggle much more than necessary.

(Even though we want to mention the bright side of things, be careful not to turn lessons into sermons. Otherwise, our kids will stop listening.)

5. Making Gratitude a Ritual

We can also focus on silver linings through daily rituals. At dinner, everyone in the family can share three things they’re grateful for that day. Our toddler might mention the yummy cookie he ate, or our tween could recall the new friend she met. Any positive is positive.

When kids are older, they might prefer keeping a gratitude journal for daily reflection. Writing about things they’re happy about–especially before bed–can be therapeutic and help them get a more restful night’s sleep.

We can also get a big jar for the family and encourage everyone to jot their “gratitudes” on slips of paper throughout the week. When the weekend rolls around, we can read them out loud to each other and even make it fun by guessing who wrote what.

We don’t have to wait for Thanksgiving for gratitude rituals. If we habitually focus on what we have and not what we’re lacking, we’ll teach our kids to foster year-round, life-long gratitude.

6. Give Encouragement for Effort Instead of Superficial/Flowery Praise

It seems like a good thing to praise our kids, right? To tell them how smart they are, how funny they are–all in an effort to relay our love and support?

The interesting thing is, excessive praise doesn’t make kids grateful. It makes them less motivated, more self-centered, and entitled.

Praise makes our kids feel awesome for a short period of time–like that Instagram post that got 200 likes–but it doesn’t last long. This is mainly because praise doesn’t encourage more important abilities, like hard work, perseverance, or appreciation for what it really takes to do well in school or in sports.

Sure, many kids are born with high intelligence, natural talent, and trust funds, and might not have to work as hard for things in life. But for the most part, kids and adults need to put in effort for a desired outcome.

If we encourage our 10-year-old musical prodigy by saying, “I’m so pleased you practiced your violin so much this fall–that’s why your recital was such a success,” instead of saying “You’re just so amazing, I’m so proud of you,” she will appreciate that it was her effort that really paid off, not her natural skills. She’ll be less likely to take her hard work for granted and be all the more grateful for what she achieved.

7. Remove Rewards

In the same way we should try to live without pleasantries once in a while, we should also quit doling out so many rewards.

Rewards are a lot like praise. They give kids a short-term hit of happiness, but they don’t produce long-term motivation.

A 5-year-old kid that gets a lollipop for being helpful–every time we take him to the grocery store–isn’t going to be thankful for the food we’re buying for his survival. His helpful behavior will be based solely on that quick, instant gratification of the yummy lollipop.

He’ll still have to help during grocery trips if we remove the reward, but we can make it fun and useful. He can learn to carefully push the cart, find food in various aisles, and help scan and pay for the food at checkout. He’ll become a little more cognizant of what it takes to put meals on the table and grow a little more grateful–even if he’s five. And the best part is, it didn’t take bribery to earn his cooperation.

8. Model Gratitude

One of the best parenting strategies we can employ is modeling the behavior we want our kids to adopt. This means stepping up and being even more generous with our own thankfulness.

Don’t miss an opportunity to say thank you to the cashier and bagger at the grocery store, the teacher when you’re dropping off your kids, or the overwhelmed waitress at the restaurant. And don’t just give thanks–be specific about how that person made a difference for you. Your kids are watching and listening to the details.

It’s important not to overlook recognizing our own family members, either. We can give thanks to our kids when they hang up their towels without being asked and can generously give thanks to our partner and kids–even for the “expected” jobs they complete daily. Everyone wants to feel appreciated.

When our kids see us giving thanks, they’ll notice what a difference it can make in a stranger’s or family member’s day. They’ll naturally want to follow suit and share in those good feelings.

Final Thoughts

Studies tell us that the most grateful people are the happiest. And what’s the one thing all parents ultimately want for their kids? Yes–to be happy.

We’re facing an entitlement epidemic in our children’s generation. It’s something that deeply concerns me and even prompted me to write a book–The Me, Me, Me, Epidemic: Raising Capable and Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World.

Entitlement is a problem that parents mustn’t lose sight of. It’s hugely ingrained in our society and an easy trap to fall into. It takes knowledge, foresight, and diligence to fight against it.

Luckily, the strategies I’ve shared with you will make a big difference in your children’s perspectives. And when times are truly tough, hard-working kids who are used to focusing on things they’re grateful for won’t struggle quite as much.

So, this season and beyond, let’s teach our kids what really matters.

They’ll be thankful for it, and so will you.

Want more discipline strategies that work? Join me for a FREE ONLINE CLASS, and I’ll teach you how to get your kids to listen–no nagging, yelling, or reminding required!

Too Much Television? How to Curb Your Kids’ TV Time

By Amy McCready on October 30, 2019 / parenting

8 year old girl lying down on carpet watching tv

Maybe it’s the Paw Patrol theme song on constant repeat in your head or the fact that your daughter knows every word, song, and dance move to Descendents 1, 2 and 3.

It could be your teenager’s infatuation with all million Marvel movies (they’re still making more?) or encyclopedic knowledge of all 800+ characters from the Pokémon shows and films.

In any of these cases, your kids may be watching too much TV.

In today’s technological and entertainment-focused world, the variety of television programming and instant streaming (Netflix, Amazon, Hulu) is basically limitless. In the past two decades, shows have become a quick download away and are ever-focused on a growing target audience–our kids.

Instantly streamable kid movies and shows are prolific and lucrative. Some may be solely entertaining, while others aim to be moral and educational.

Some even captivate and amuse the parents (while others, no doubt, annoy).

Marvel movies, as mentioned above, aren’t even family movies per se–but kids love them. In any genre, the goal of television programming is to be wildly entertaining and addictive to audiences.

For our children, it is undeniably both.

It may start small, with your kindergartener watching an extra episode of Fancy Nancy or your teenager negotiating an extra 15 minutes of Spider-Man Homecoming. But then, all of a sudden, your kids are spending multiple hours a day glued to the screen.

Whether it’s too much television throughout the year or just during certain times, most parents are conscientious enough to know that children shouldn’t spend an exorbitant amount of time in front of the TV.

But do you feel powerless to curb the habit? Is the thought of enforcing stricter limits overwhelming to both you and your kids?

The good news is that there is hope. It will take some dedication, but with a few simple strategies, you can guide your kids back to a reasonable amount of screen time.

First of All, How Much Is Too Much TV?

I get it. Television is a great way for kids to zone out and relax after school, in the evenings, or on lazy weekend mornings.

And let’s be honest, it also provides parents a much-needed break. After all, there are only so many crafts you can come up with or board games you can play when the weather’s extreme and you’re entertaining stir-crazy kids.

Sometimes, we just need to occupy children so we can finish those long-put-off chores or work from home.

Honestly, it’s no wonder many of us give in to looser television limits–we need to get stuff done and stay sane!

The point is, without limits, television usage can be a slippery slope.

It’s hard to quantify exactly what constitutes too much television for children. It depends on a variety of factors, including a child’s personality and age. What is certain is that kids are watching more television than ever before and excessive usage can invite a host of negative effects.

Just like you, your kids need to live well-balanced lives. Setting television limits and parental controls is a great starting point. It’s also important to remain aware of what your kids are watching and how shows might be affecting them.

The best way to tell if television (and technology in general) has become problematic for your child is to look for troublesome warning signs.

Note: For Positive Parenting Solutions Members, please visit/review the Specialty Module, “Family Technology Survival Plan.”

Signs of Television Addiction

Television addiction can exhibit the same signs as any other kind of addiction:

If you are setting limits on screen time and find that your children are concealing usage or regularly breaking the rules, they are probably addicted.

If children throw tantrums, become irritable, or act uncontrollably when you remove the television, this is a clear indication of an unhealthy dependence.

If children are suffering in school, consider whether or not television might have something to do with it.

If your child is consistently staying up late and losing sleep due to television, this is a clear sign of addiction. Irregular sleep patterns and consistent loss of sleep can affect a child’s learning and cognitive abilities and needs to be addressed immediately.

If your child always chooses television over other traditionally fun and social activities, he or she has probably reached an unhealthy level of screen-time dependence.

If you notice any of the signs above, it is time for a television intervention. So, roll up your sleeves and get ready to regain control of the tube.

Setting Healthy Limits on Television

If you’re like most families, taking television away altogether isn’t realistic or desirable. I can also tell you, that as long as you maintain healthy control over it, it isn’t necessary.

The main objective is to help your kids refrain from binge-watching and not let television detract from either their responsibilities or their mental, physical, and social well-being.

Implementing When-Then Routines Before TV Time

If your kids are used to watching television and not getting their rudimentary tasks done first (like family contributions, homework, music practice, etc.), consider using When-Then terminology with them.

When-Then is one of the 37 tools you’ll learn through our online course at Positive Parenting Solutions. Join me for a free class and learn one of our other wildly popular tools–the 5Rs to fair and effective consequences.

“When you are done emptying the dishwasher and taking out the trash, Kyle, then you can watch your show.”

“When you are done with all of your homework, Jasmine, then you can download that new movie on iTunes.”

When-Then is a great way to put the responsibility in your kids’ laps. They know what they need to do to watch the television. They can control when that happens by deciding to accomplish the less-than-desirable task first, on their terms.

When-Then becomes even more powerful when you establish it as part of a routine. If Kyle knows he has to empty the dishwasher every day, there will be a point when you no longer even have to say “When-Then.” He’ll just do it. The routine becomes the boss, you get your dishes put away, and Kyle gets to watch his television after being a more productive member of the family.

Please Note: Make sure you don’t present television usage as a special reward. This will make tasks feel more like unbearable chores. When-Then Routines work best if the goal is an already-established privilege that can only be enjoyed after necessary tasks are completed.

Nixing the Nagging/Negotiating

When-Then Routines also eliminate the need for you to nag and negotiate with your kids.

Nagging your children to stop or start doing something usually turns into a power struggle. They feel belittled because they don’t think you believe they can accomplish things without your reminders (and maybe you really do think this!). This will make them feel annoyed, defensive, and less likely to cooperate.

Also, if in a moment of weakness you give in when your child tries to bargain with you, you send the message that everything is up for negotiation. You might think that allowing a few more minutes of television isn’t a big deal, but a few months down the road you could have a child glued to a screen all day.

Avoid getting dragged into a negotiation, listening to whining, or being sucked into a power struggle by simply stating When-Then, and walking away. After all, if you stick around, you provide an audience for the badgering and you may find yourself giving in!

Stay strong, and your kids will learn that no amount of whining will change your mind. Case closed.

Leading by Example

If we place a lot of value in our own TV viewing, our kids will learn the same. It’s certainly fine to have our adult TV time (after all, we deserve to relax AND need to stay relevant for the next adult dinner party), but it’s best not to consistently “veg” in front of the television while our children are watching.

If we enjoy the great outdoors, like to read, cook fun meals, or play an instrument or sport, our kids will catch on and be influenced by these healthy hobbies. The earlier we can introduce our kids to these non-electronic alternatives, the better.

It’s so easy to become hypocritical and allow our personal actions to fall contrary to the expectations we have of our children. Just stay vigilant and try to “practice what you preach.”

Offering One-on-One Parent/Child Time

You can always encourage less television viewing by suggesting one-on-one time with your child, doing something she chooses.

Spending undistracted, quality time with our children is incredibly empowering for kids. It gives them a sense of importance and value that they crave. It’s personal attention, a chance for connection, and a FUN activity. Used routinely and correctly, your kids will become addicted to it–perhaps even more so than television.

You can suggest kicking a soccer ball back and forth, playing a game of Uno, taking a walk to the park, or even going on a mini scavenger hunt around the house. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or well planned-out (unless you’d like it to be)–it just needs to be at least 10-15 minutes of daily, child-directed, personal time with your kids.

This may seem unrealistic to those of you with withdrawn teenagers. But believe me–they need this one-on-one time just as much as the toddlers in your life. Don’t stop encouraging it or finding the time and means to implement it.

Please Note: If your child wants to use television as your one-on-one activity, this is okay every once in a while within the following limits: make sure you are watching the television together; make sure you are discussing what you’re watching; and try to keep it educational for little tykes.

Limiting Instantaneous Downloads (in an Age of Entitlement)

Have you tried introducing some of your favorite older movies to your kids, only to hear them say, “This is so boring.” “Why is this so slow?” “Is this seriously in black and white?”

Our current era of instant gratification can make viewing older movies with slower plot lines and less special effects a real drag for kids. We know how fun and action-packed television and movies are these days.

Even playing a DVD seems archaic to today’s kids. Despite quickly finding the DVD and fast-forwarding through the pre-programmed previews to the menu screen, a (mere) minute later, your kids are wondering what took so long.

A lack of patience and inability to be bored are just smaller signs of the entitlement epidemic facing kids today.

(In my book, The “Me Me Me” Epidemic, I discuss at length not only why many of today’s children believe in inherently special treatment–but also how we can combat it.)

It may not seem like instant digital downloads can have that much of an effect on a child’s expectations or actions in life, but it certainly does play into the idea that today’s kids don’t have to wait for a payoff.

Working and waiting for desired outcomes is something our youngsters still need to learn. Maybe now more than ever.

If you’re worried about creating entitled kids, implementing control over the television can make a difference.

Try making them wait until the weekend for a special movie night–a movie that you all take turns choosing. Since they’ve had to wait all week it may make them more receptive to watching something they didn’t pick out (or something from your youth that is now apparently ancient).

Final Thoughts

Television, my friend, is here to stay. Maybe futuristic TVs will fly around the house for special effect, morph into IMAX screens, or automatically lower the volume during commercials (you never know). But beyond bigger and better entertainment value, the presence of television is most likely permanent.

Instead, we need to focus on managing television’s addictive qualities and not let it affect our children’s health, progress, and goals.

I realize it’s easier said than done. After all, I raised two kids in the digital age. But I also know from experience that you can reset your television rules for the benefit of all.

So there you have it. Now’s the time to get you and your kids on track for manageable, guiltless, and worry-free screen time. And we’re here to guide you every step of the way.

For more tools, I encourage you to check out my FREE ONLINE CLASS. You’ll learn the 5Rs for implementing effective consequences for misbehaviors–including the excessive or inappropriate use of technology.

Title Image: Alena Ozerova / Shutterstock www.shutterstock.com/photos

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Open the Discussion

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Treat Them as Adults

Emphasize Safety

Encourage Empathy

Final Thoughts

Eight Tips to More Grateful Kids

1. Implement Family Contributions

2. Schedule Acts of Service

3. Make Do With Less

4. Look for Silver Linings

5. Making Gratitude a Ritual

6. Give Encouragement for Effort Instead of Superficial/Flowery Praise

7. Remove Rewards

8. Model Gratitude

Final Thoughts

Too Much Television? How to Curb Your Kids’ TV Time

First of All, How Much Is Too Much TV?

Signs of Television Addiction

Setting Healthy Limits on Television

Implementing When-Then Routines Before TV Time

Nixing the Nagging/Negotiating

Leading by Example

Offering One-on-One Parent/Child Time

Limiting Instantaneous Downloads (in an Age of Entitlement)

Final Thoughts

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