Empathizing versus lecturing can go a long way in diffusing power struggles and it reinforces that you’re on the same team. This week, if your kids start complaining about doing their homework or chores, instead of lecturing, just say this simple phrase.
Watch the video below to learn this simple phrase that will deflect the power struggle.
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Amy McCready is a highly sought-after parenting coach, speaker, consultant and author of “If I Have To Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program To Get Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling”. After taking time off from her career to raise her two sons (now teenagers), she founded Positive Parenting Solutions in 2004 to help educate parents on how to effectively communicate and connect with their children. Through her online parenting courses, live webinars and speaking engagements, Amy has gained widespread attention and has been called upon as an expert by numerous media outlets, including NBC’s TODAY Show, The New York Times, The Rachael Ray Show, Fox & Friends and MSNBC.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
The choice of even one word can create understanding and closeness or distance between people – e.g.:
‘I HEAR you …’ makes kids with auditory preferences feel you hear/’get’ them,
‘I can SEE that …’ helps visual kids feel noticed, and
‘I can SENSE that …’ affirms kinesthetic (gut-type) kids more accurately.
Feeling-type kids use phrases like ‘I FEEL for you, how do you feel?, I feel one could …’;
Mind-type kids often use the phrases, ‘I THINK of you, I understand you, what do you think, I think one could …?’;
and gut/body-type kids probably prefer phrases like, ‘My GUT says … I SENSE that this is …’
Anyone who wants to add other examples to these observations so far?
There are a lot of words that we can use to our kids. It is just choosing the right word to use. The word that is clear to be understood and does not create distance between you and the kids.