In Part 1 of Do’s and Don’ts to End Hitting and Biting for Good we discussed the best ways to address hitting and biting in toddlers. This post will address what you should do for kids OVER the age of 3.
To start, you should follow the same guidelines for children under the age of 3, PLUS make sure to reveal the consequences for hitting and biting in advance:
- State that the behavior is unacceptable and be specific. Say, “It’s not okay to hit/bite” versus, “Play nicely”.
- Reveal consequences in advance. When everyone is calm, reveal the consequence if the behavior happens again: “If you choose to hit or bite your friends, the play date will be over and we will go home immediately.” Or “If you choose to hit or bite, you will lose the privilege of playing at the playground and you’ll have to go inside.”
- Close the loop. Be sure she understands the rule and consequence by asking her to repeat it back to you – “Tell me in your own words what will happen if you hit/bite?”
- Express confidence. “I have confidence that you’ll remember and be able to enjoy your playground time!
- Follow through each and every time. Once you reveal the consequence and he repeats it back to you, there’s no need for second chances or reminders. If he chooses to hit or bite, immediately and calmly implement the consequence. “I see you made the decision to leave the play date.” It’s a statement of fact, not something that you are “doing to” your child.
Hitting and biting is stressful for parents and kids, but remaining calm, implementing consequences that don’t reinforce the behavior and taking time to train the child on alternative strategies will yield the best results long term.
{ 1 trackback }
{ 0 comments… add one now }